And yes Leonie who at 7 months, fills us but puts the record straight.
And yes I thought it would come naturally, as with Elliot, like what is nothing like that, and ideas that I had made during pregnancy are all fallen into the water. Leonie is a child who has a very large demand, and hypersensitivity as a mother of fact, I can not blame him. Can I talk about BABI? I do not know, we must I myself would help me look it can be to understand my child.
I confess there are days where I feel most at the height where I want to leave weep, and so little sound coming from his mouth, breaking my heart, paralyzing me, I can not, no I can not leave her with her scream, which breaks it down as much as me, I have printing to abandon it. The so little that I do, and it lasts only 1 minute in my head there was a small road that says "it should say mom let me, I can not trust him "... short of guilt, and guilt I have to spare. I am helpless before my daughter, I can not do with it as I did with Elliot, our relations are totally different. I know that each child's personality, they are all different, but I was not expecting such a request ... we must learn to know us. It is my demons so to speak, I know that my little ladybug is here to guide me, put me face with myself. It is so what I feared, my fear to do wrong, I'm not a mother perfect, I know it does not exist, despite my attempts to be ... It makes me move and I know that girls whose mothers relationships I did not, there .
each passing days, I tell myself I do not want them to have ideas to flee the house when I get the voice, good they are too young, where they think everybody is mad at me, what can I do so .. Devaluation, I do not want them to have one day. This kind of thinking about themselves, it's so destructive, I live and I know what it is. I think it is our experience, me and my friend, that we decided to move towards an education respectful, non-violent for our children that we wanted for ourselves somewhere . No one in which a slap never hurt anyone, or that we can say is you suck, it pfft pretending today, and so on because I think we could write a book on these fine words that hurt me when I hear from the mouths of other moms. I am convinced that giving too much love, value our children do not realize not "Child King". Quite the contrary, u n emotional deprivation is a gigantic hole in the bottom of the self, which shows no self-esteem, unable to tell his feelings to emerge and a lack of confidence! Which we now rotten life, for my education, I certainly never lacked for nothing, so finally love and gratitude, the more important for self-construction.
; This is my daily struggle, not to reproduce my past that today to 28 years, I gradually build my children while building for tomorrow, with good weapons to confront society.
A book that knows a lot and I recommend it "At the heart of emotions" Isabella Filliozat . It is a book that made me understand my behavior towards Elliot, but especially to Leonie, I got plunged back to the birth of my ladybug, and today I took the courage to start a therapy for get me out of this abyss that destroys everything. I often tell myself I must build myself to be able to help my children!
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